what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
