I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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