Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
