maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize