I wanna bring you to show and tell
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
