I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
