He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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