Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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