He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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