Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
