she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
