YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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