He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
