Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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