WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
