Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
