um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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