she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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