Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
