i was born a porn star she said
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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