People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
we're so committed to being not committed
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
