you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
