I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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