But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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