About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
