just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
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