People in love make me want to vomit
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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