Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
either way he was missing a nipple.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
