Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
