It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
