I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
