yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
She's like a pop up book from hell.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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