Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
