3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
