yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
