summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
