Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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