Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
he had hair everywhere except his balls
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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