So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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