I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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