i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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