and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
