wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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