I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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