respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
