thus making me awesome and them whores
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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