i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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