Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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