party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
