that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
