Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
