can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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