Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
