Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
