Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
