Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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