I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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